Day 30: Respond, don't React

DISCLAIMER: THERE ISN'T ANYTHING MUCH WRITTEN IN THIS THAT YOU DON'T ALREADY KNOW. INSTEAD OF WASTING THE NEXT 15 MINS OF YOUR LIFE, JUST GO ON WITH IT. WELL IN CASE YOU WANT TO WASTE IT ANYWAY, DO NOT READ ANYTHING IN BRACKETS OR IN RED TEXT, THAT'S A BIT OUT OF CONTEXT USUALLY MY MIND OFF RAMPING. IT WILL SAVE YOU SOME TIME TO DO MORE IMPORTANT THINGS. (SOMETIMES IT'S GENUINE LINKS TO ARTICLES WITH MORE INFO SO READ AND CLICK IT).

Unless I'm the psycho, but I'm pretty sure that most of us always have this premonition at the beginning of every new year, where we know deep down and can actually feel it, this is going to be a really great year. Way better than the last, filled with success and immersive progress. So what do we do? We pull out pens and diaries, others log in to their phones and PCs and create a 'Vision Board.' Oftentimes, it doesn’t occur to us that this is exactly what we did last year, and probably the year before last, only to end the year with, “This was a really tough year, thank God I survived!”

See, there is a lesson here, a strong lesson to be learned, a trend and a habit that we need to quickly recognise to avoid being trapped in this loop. Year after year, month after month, week after week, and day after day, we are always exposed to situations or what some would call circumstances. This is usually where we get to make some decisions, where we have an obligation to react or an opportunity to respond. Mhm… respond and react, quite fascinating words really, if you think about it. In many instances, you’ll hear people interchanging them, just replacing one for the other in sentences like they are one and the same thing. But they are not.

The Difference Between Reacting and Responding

Reacting is quick, impulsive, and fueled by emotion. It’s what your caveman ancestors did when they saw a lion. They either ran for their lives or threw a rock and hoped for the best. Reacting is primal, almost automatic. Your brain’s lazy way of handling situations without actually handling them. It’s the knee-jerk reaction when someone cuts you off in traffic, and suddenly, you’re hurling words and cursing like there's no tomorrow. (Then my mom asks one lady who was driving us from church one Sunday, "Is there a module about cursing at driving schools", coz wow drivers will curse you).

Responding, on the other hand, is the evolved, sophisticated version of handling situations. If not the difference between human beings and animals I don't know what is (well I do, it's the fact that we are created in the image of God and they are not, but that's not the point). It recognises the weight of the moment, considers possible dangers, losses, and gains, and uses logic to determine the best course of action. Responding takes discipline. It’s what separates a leader from a loose cannon, a rational thinker from someone who lets their emotions control them. And an animal from a human being. (I love the word human being it's literally stating that we haven't actually figured ti out, we are actually in the process of 'being'/becoming humans, fascinating).

For real though

This isn’t just philosophical mumbo jumbo. Ever heard of Viktor Frankl? Well I have he is the legendary psychiatrist and Holocaust survivor who wrote Man’s Search for Meaning, where he said:

“Between stimulus (a trigger for a reaction) and response (the actual reaction), there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and our freedom.”

That “space” he’s talking about? That’s the moment where you decide whether to react or respond. It’s where true change happens. His book is on special by the way. 

Forget Viktor, you didn't know about him anyways, here is what King Solomon wrote:

"A fool gives full vent to his anger, but a wise man quietly holds it back." — Proverbs 29:11

The message is clear: if you let your emotions dictate your actions, you’ll always find yourself in regret territory. But if you pause, reflect, and choose wisely? That’s where real transformation begins.

The Paradox of Control

Here’s the crazy thing: the more you react, the less control you have. But the more you respond, the more power you gain.

Think about it. If you react to every little inconvenience, your boss’s email, your partner’s tone, a delayed order at McDonald’s you’re basically a puppet, controlled by external circumstances like literally. But if you learn to respond, you reclaim your power. You decide how to engage with the world rather than letting the world dictate your emotions.

It’s like Epictetus, the Greek Stoic philosopher, once said:

"It’s not what happens to you, but how you react to it that matters."

In other words, life is throwing punches whether you like it or not. You can either flail your arms in panic or duck, dodge, and land a calculated counterpunch.

Small Shifts, Big Changes

So, how do you shift from reacting to responding? Start small. Try this:

• Instead of snapping back at someone who annoys you, take a deep breath and ask, “Is this worth my peace?" I'm joking just slap that idiot in the face and watch how this year becomes just one of those years you 'survived'.

• Instead of impulsively buying something you don’t need, give yourself 24 hours to think it over, unless if it's on special like Viktor's book.

• Instead of panicking when something goes wrong, ask, “What’s the best possible way to handle this?”

The results? You’ll find yourself less stressed, more in control, and shockingly productive. Your relationships improve, your career advances, and perhaps most importantly you start ticking off those vision board goals instead of recycling them every December.

The Takeaway (Russian and Chips) 

2025 is not going to be the year of “I just reacted without thinking.” It’s going to be the year of conscious decision-making. The year of choosing our responses wisely. Because when you respond instead of react, you go from being a victim of your emotions to the master of your outcomes.

And if you ever feel tempted to go back to your old ways, just remember: lions aren’t chasing us anymore. We are no longer cave man. Fight that primal instict by recognising that the only danger there is, is in acting without thinking things through. 

We can afford to take a moment and think before we act. In fact in 2025 we can even ask Ai how to respond quite well. Check this out,

It's quite unfortunate that social media is stealing our power to respond by adding features like reactions. But let's react less and respond more, Because This is what we do now.

Happy Valentine's Day, with or Without flowers ❤️